i really like this ultrafact because the setup implies something funny or unexpected is going to happen, but not only is the ‘punchline’ actually just standard torturous murder but the lack of punctuation adds a bizarre, text-post quality to the tone. syntactically speaking this ultrafact is a piece of accidental genius
The Mongol Empire was the safest place in the world as long as you didn’t backstab the Mongols.
To add to this, he actually sent two. The first was to sorta present a message of peace telling the leader in essence “We’re both great leaders of great empires and equals in stature.” and after the fucker killed the first caravan he sent another to figure out what the hell happened because maybe the fucker didn’t know who he was.
Then he invaded and utterly erased the empire off the face of the earth
Did you guys know that Genghis Khan even went so far as to divert a river through the Khwarezmid emperor’s birthplace, erasing it from the map? This was how mad the emperor made Genghis feel. (Source)
*wants to ride a wooly mammoth to Wawa* B)
Michael Crichton taught me that this is a very bad idea
Nah man that was only Dinosaurs. We’re cool with other prehistoric animals, like the Andrewsarchus
the first sabre toothed animal, Gorgonopsid
and my personal favourite, the 60- foot long predatory whale, Basilosaurus.
… Yeah I don’t think this is a good idea either…
I bet anyone who doesn’t know this show would think this is a legit school picture
for a second I did, but then I saw coconut head and I screamed